Paedophilia: Sexually Attracted to Children

Paedophilia: Sexually Attracted to Children

“Brrring!!” The alarm clock rang as I jumped out of my bed with maximum velocity. It was 4 am. I ran to the bathroom, washed my face and wore a black joggers and a black T-shirt to match. Staring at the black leather bag I had hung on the wooden chair in my room, I gave a wide smile.

Instantly, I took out a face cap from my drawer, carried the bag and dashed out of my room. The whole environment was serene at that moment although flashes of dim light could be seen in some windows. Well, it was on a Tuesday and most people were preparing to go to work.

I ignited the ash Toyota Camry the car I had hired the previous day and drove off. After driving for about 30 minutes, I found a suitable place to park the car. I came down from the car and stood at one corner of the street unnoticed, waiting patiently for him. Soon, I saw him coming. He had a briefcase in his hands as he was going to work. I immediately brought out the handkerchief from my black leather bag and moistened it with some chloroform which was in a small bottle. As soon as he got near me, I jumped out from my hiding spot and covered his nose firmly with the handkerchief.

Kidnapped and held captive

Uncle Chidi slowly opened his eyes. As soon as he recognized me, he tried to scream but his mouth was gagged up with a plain brown scarf. His hands were also tied to the wooden chair in my room. I stared at Uncle Chidi for a moment and burst into hot tears.
“Uncle Chidi, why did you do this to us? Maka gini?” I said crying uncontrollably as I walked out of the room.

A few minutes later, I walked back into the room carrying a file. I removed the plain brown scarf which I had used to cover his mouth and I stared at him with anger.
“I was just seven uncle Chidi. Just seven!!! Tell me, what attracted me to you? My breasts were as tiny as a dot, yet you were so attracted to me. I was just a child Uncle Chidi yet you molested me severally. You would come into my room and touch all sensitive parts of my body and then sleep with me.”

“I’m so sorry Oby. It was the devil” Uncle Chidi stammered in defence.

“Oh…So it’s the devil? You are the devil!

Paedophiles often build trust with parents before children

My mum trusted you so much. She made you stay with us throughout your five years in the university yet this is what she gets? Defiling her three kids? Uncle Chidi, you are the devil” I cried.

Mma was just three years and Ada was nine when Uncle Chidi started living with us. My parents were tycoons who went about travelling here and there. They had no time for us. When Uncle Chidi got admission into the University of Lagos, my mother’s joy was full as his institution wasn’t far from our house. So, uncle Chidi stayed with us for that period. Whenever he was around, he would call each of us into the room, lock the door and say he wanted to play with us.

Manipulating and Grooming their victims for Sexual Abuse or Assault

I remember vividly the very first-day uncle Chidi called me into his room. He sat me on his bed and kissed me passionately in my mouth. It felt weird as no one had ever kissed me that way before.

“Oby, relax okay? I just want to play with you. You would enjoy yourself okay? Don’t worry, I have some chocolates for you after that – Grooming.”

I was so naive and I didn’t know what was happening. Soon, Uncle Chidi started moving his hands across my chest where my tiny breasts were located. He also held my buttocks massaging them softly. The next thing he did after that was so horrible and painful. He warned me not to tell anyone and promised I won’t feel pain when next he played with me.

Months grew into months and years grew into years. Yet, my parents never suspected anything was wrong. They were too preoccupied with making money. Aunty Agnes who was our housemaid never presumed anything was wrong as she was always in the kitchen. As I grew older, I realized that uncle Chidi had been molesting us including Mma who was just three then. Ada and I were so scared and ashamed to speak to anyone about it and we kept mute.

Adult Manifestation of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Uncle Chidi eventually left our house after his graduation but the pain was still there. It was such a horrible experience that affected Ada and me so badly. We never told anyone about our experience with uncle Chidi. Whenever we thought about it, we felt so dirty inside and talking about it right now makes me feel dirtier because it hurts deeply.

It’s been 15 years now but I can still see it, feel it, hear it and taste it. Ada is in the psychiatric hospital at the moment and Mma is in the grave today. Mma died when she was eight and I’m certain uncle Chidi’s action was a contributing factor to her death. I was almost going crazy. I wanted to understand the science behind the whole thing.

Why was he Sexually Attracted to Children?

Uncle Chidi must have had a girlfriend back then in school but why did he choose to molest us? Why was he sexually attracted to us despite the fact we were kids? Why didn’t he pick on aunty Agnes instead?
My curiosity probed me into making a lot of research. I later discovered that uncle Chidi was suffering from a condition known as paedophilia.

Paedophilia – Sexually Attracted to Children

It is a mental condition in which one is sexually attracted to children who are yet to attain puberty. However, not all those who sexually abuse children are paedophiles. Some are just children sexual abusers. Well, the cause of paedophilia has been linked to diverse neurological and psychological abnormalities.

Research has shown that Pedophilia has been linked to one’s brain structure and function. Some studies have shown that one or more neurological traits present at birth may increase the likelihood of being paedophilic. Also, some studies have also shown that most paedophiles tend to be left-handed and truly, uncle Chidi was one. I concluded that uncle Chidi was indeed a paedophile when I discovered he never had a girlfriend back then in school.

There is no Cure for being Sexually Attracted to children

Sadly, there is no cure for being Sexually attracted to children but certain therapies can help paedophiles refrain from acting on their desires. The truth is that being a paedophile isn’t one’s fault because that is how the person’s brain was wired. Unfortunately, there is no method of preventing paedophilia at the moment.

I was no longer staring at uncle Chidi with anger but with pity. I untied his hands and handed him the file I was holding which contained some documents about pedophilia. He soberly took the file from me and read through the pages. It took a while before he finished and as soon he was done reading he started crying.

Moving Forward After a Sexual Assault

He confessed that he had always been sexually attracted to prepubescent children and he barely enjoys sex with any adult. Though he was married, but he still fantasizes about having sex with kids. Uncle Chidi went on his knees to beg for forgiveness. I could see this remorseful feeling in his eyes. It wasn’t his fault for being a paedophile but he had a choice. He could have chosen to rebuke his desires but he yielded to it. He could have cried out for help but he didn’t.

I took my black leather bag which was on my bed, unzipped it slowly and brought out the syringes. One contained pavulon, the other potassium chloride and the third midazolam. They were potent drugs capable of ending his life few seconds after administration. I was going to inject him and get rid of him……..

Five years later

Five years later, our entire family attended the burial of Uncle Chidi in St John’s Catholic church. He got involved in a fatal motor accident. I had forgiven him the other day and got him enrolled for therapy in a psychiatric hospital. Ada became better and was discharged from the hospital. My parents got to know about our experience with Uncle Chidi later after his death. They felt so horrible for failing as a parent. As we drove from St John’s Catholic Church that day, Ada looked at me and heaved a sigh of relief. I looked back at her and smiled with my white teeth widely visible. Our predator was gone!

Here is the big question…..

“Should paedophiles be spared of their crimes considering the fact that some were born being sexually attracted to children?”

Paedophilia: Sexually Attracted to Children

 

Writer: Isibor Precious
Delta State University, Abraka, Nigeria

Isibor Precious is a young writer who uses writing as a means of communicating to the world. Spurred by certain issues of life, a great message lies in every of her stories. Her stories are captivating, educational and eye-opening. Though a student of pharmacology, her choice of words are explicit and emotive. 

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Jesudarasimi
Jesudarasimi
3 months ago

Paedophiles shouldn’t be spared because everyone has the ability to discipline him/herself.

Uncle Chidi was not able to put his body under subjection and therefore should face the consequences of his actions.

I cannot just imagine it, how will a grown up man be sexually attracted to a small girl? This is beyond a WOW!.

Pelz
Pelz
3 months ago

Hmmmmmmmmmmm
Sad but true….
I think a seminar or lecture or awareness should be made to the general public about paedophiles…
Paedophiles should be lectured on the effects of their actions when they don’t surpress the desire and they should also be exposed to therapies like the writer has said…
Anyone that willfully go on in the act after these, should be severely punished without pity….

Kudos to the writer. Thanks for this piece.

Cocowriteze
Cocowriteze
3 months ago

The answer to that question…
Should serial killers be let free because they also have mental issues???

Answer is no, they should be confined to mental institutions, but I think they should be tried as normal human beings first, because everyone of us has tendencies to commit crimes.

There are thousands of other people out there with mental illnesses that allowed them to commit crimes too, but they are still able to control themselves, so what excuse does anyone have??

Would you want a serial killer who just killed your sibling to go scot free because they have a mental illness??

They should be allowed to roam freely and claim more victims??

I think they should be tried, and in mild cases, put in a mental institution.

UniBen
UniBen
3 months ago

That last statement is a barefaced lie. Nobody is born attracted to children, or to any sexual object of choice. Are we to say those who practice bestiality or necrophilia were born that way?
Sexualities are learned & if acted upon constantly, become a character.
Hope you know that they’re fighting to make pedosexuality legal?

Precy300
Precy300
Reply to  UniBen
3 months ago

One thing you should realize is that some people are actually born paedophiles. It’s just how their brain were wired. It isn’t actually a crime in that sense but choosing to act on your desires is when it becomes a crime. Choosing to act on your desires is when it becomes child sexual abuse. Paedophilia isn’t child sexual abuse. It’s an attraction.
Well, I won’t say some people who practice bestiality or necrophilia were born that way. Some were learnt and eventually became their character just like the gays and lesbians(homosexuality).
Talking about the legalization of pedosexuality, you are right. It almost happened in California but in the long run, it didn’t.
No one is supporting paedophilia here. Of course, it’s a disgusting desire but when it leads to child sexual abuse, it’s a serious crime.

doc_kenny
doc_kenny
3 months ago

Spared?…… No, allowed to roam the streets, absolutely not but they shouldn’t be condemned.
Personally I don’t think it’s their fault. There is a reason it’s called a mental disorder, it’s like a part of them it’s just something they can’t help but do, anyone seen the series ‘prodigal son’?. You see paedophile, personality disorder and any of this disorder you can mention, these people in question are the victims, it could be you reading this and it could be me writing this. None of them asked for this they just happen to be born with a condition they never bargained for.
They need all the help they can get, therapy and all sorts. Rather than damnation like most people would what about psychiatric homes, mental correction centres. Personally I think killing everyone with a disorder which puts them on the wrong side of the law won’t solve the problem.

Olamide
Olamide
3 months ago

Born with it?! Lmaoo
Nobody is born to be that way except it was an inborn error, which obviously is not.
The earlier we stop making excuses for these perpetrators of evil, the better for us. What we become is a product of what we were exposed to, either at an early age or later in life, and how we responded to that exposure.
We are human beings and not animals; so we should learn to control ourselves.
Paedophiles shouldn’t be spared, cause I mean, what are you looking for in a child?!
Also, they should seek mental care… Because what’s the tendency that if we ‘spare’ them, they wouldn’t commit more crimes and even worse?

Stellicose
Stellicose
3 months ago

It is common knowledge especially in this part of the world that keeping your pain to yourself is what makes you strong, but in actual fact, why do we have families, friends, acquaintances even? Like most mental disorders in which the victim has moments when he/she is as mentally stable as every other person, a pedophile has moments when he does not feel a strong desire to commit the crime of sexual abuse. Such moments should be times of constant self evaluation, times to take actions that will help the situation.
As embarrassing as it might be to admit that there is a problem, there is nothing worse to be shameful of apart from the fact that one is using the problem one has to destroy the lives of others.
So Paedophiles need the help they can get as soon as there are signs that there is a problem. This is where a psychologist comes into play. The sexual abuser needs to be willing to turn the tables while he can still control himself. If that is neglected though, a lot of things will be destroyed, hence the need for legal actions and forceful admissions into corrective institutions.
In all, every person that has committed a serious crime of abusing innocent children should be punished accordingly, even if corrective measures will be taken alongside

Treasurelove
Treasurelove
3 months ago

It is indeed very real, I was molested by my cousin, a family friend, an in-law, and a neighbor
I was just about 3 when it started and I couldn’t tell anyone about it.
My mum only got to know when I was like 16. And truth be told, I still remember it like it was yesterday
Paedophiles are toxic to the society, and they shouldn’t be spared.

Andy Khan
Andy Khan
3 months ago

There’s always a problem when it comes to sexual abuses like this

Legally you can’t sentence a mentally ill person, Paedophiles inclusive, unless it can be proven that they are still mentally ok

But we shouldn’t let them live in the same society with other people

Like a drug addict, it starts from a single dose till they become addicted. You can’t send them to jail for being addicted illegal substance. All they need is “special care”

Elee
Elee
3 months ago

I really don’t think paedophiles should be spared because, really very human being should be able to discipline themselves

Since uncle Chidi noticed that he was attracted to young children, he should have know that it was morally wrong and should have sought for help, but he didn’t, instead he molested those young children
I don’t think they should be spared, but they can be helped, because they are also human beings

Unachukwu Henry
Unachukwu Henry
3 months ago

An Episode i saw on The Good doctor ( a famous series) had a scene where a pedophile claimed couldn’t control himself around his neices and he’s been taking hormone blockers to subdue the drive. Fast forward, the hormone blockers were hurting him so the doctors asked him to stop them or he could die but he couldn’t cause he knew what he was.
He went home, tried to castrate himself, was rushed backed to hospital and unfortunately for him he did his testes no harm. His bloody attempt was in vain.
Fast forward, he stepped right infront of a fast moving bus to take his own life since he couldn’t take drugs to help him and he couldn’t castrate himself.

From the story you could choose to believe that being pedophilic is a really serious mental condition (majorly cause it’s the good doctor and they’ll definitely do their research before portraying that) but it still doesn’t mean they should be let to roam free.

The best option is confinement into a rehabilitative institute (if there’s any for pedophiles) or Mental asylum.

Tohseenlee
Tohseenlee
3 months ago

I don’t know ,I don’t want to be judgemental as well. Victims are always short of words

Ona
Ona
3 months ago

All humans are born with their minds like blank slates. The people we become are the people we “choose” to become. Our mentalities are shaped by our experiences and the experiences of others – when we choose to to believe them.
Deciding to act in a despicable manner is one thing. But blaming it on how one’s brain is “wired” (even though that’s not true) is another thing I find… amusing.

Sick people sha need therapy, at least that’s one thing we agree on.

dynmaa
dynmaa
3 months ago

Make it make sense? Who TF is born to molest kids? 😒
I’m more angry because I was molested too and this is just like making up excuses for paedophiles.
These people are meant to be punished ffs!

Ridah
Ridah
3 months ago

Hmmn! He should be punished because he know he had that problem which is not norml he didn’t tell anyone to see if he could get help. Most of the kids end up dying or become depressed.
On the other hand he shouldn’t be punished because its a mental problem he couldn’t control d urge when it comes. Health educating the Public is the key to stop this problem and psychiatrist should be made available in all state in other to help improve mental health in our communities

Chubi
Chubi
3 months ago

The idea that paedophiles should be spared is something I do not accept. There are two dictionary definitions for paedophilia is “sexual attraction to children by adults,” and “sexual activity between a child and an adult.” As an adult, one has reached the age of accountability, you should know how to act and react, you should know what to do and what not to do, you should also know how to have self-control. If one is attracted to children, they are supposed to shun that attraction or control it because a child is not yet accountable, most times they don’t know what is right or wrong so they trust that whatever an adult says is true. Now as an adult, taking advantage of that child’s naivety negatively should be punished. A child does not know what consent is, not to talk of giving consent to an adult for sexual activity, that’s what makes them children. Sexual activity with children has destroyed the lives of so many of them, mentally and emotionally. Many children have died physically, mentally or emotionally because of this act, they suffer adverse effects medically, so why should it not be punished? A paedophile is equal to a murderer, and saying they are ‘born with it’ is telling me a psychopath is born with it. All these things start from somewhere; things they hear, see (watch) and do, then gradually it develops until it gets out of hand. Paedophiles should be punished and should stop being encouraged by the flimsy talk of they were born with it. They should, as adults, be held accountable for their actions.

Dr. Chinemerem
Dr. Chinemerem
3 months ago

hmmmm this question is really complex

after reading that story i had to think
should this group of people be punished for such an act since it is what they are born with

well after much contemplation
i had to put my self in the shoes of those children that are being molested out there
in the name of being sexually attracted to them
and not only that
in the claim that the paedophiles are born with such sexual urge

those children are being harrassed molested and they become traumatized when such happens

yes, its not the paedophiles fault that they are born with it
it doesnt mean that they are unable to control such urge
we are all humans
and there is a popular saying that when there is a WILL there is a WAY
soo if such people are able to get couselled and therapies on the negativity associated with such they wont induldge themselves in it
and furthermore the onus lies on them if such a person is DERTERMINED never to indulge in such act

so what am saying in essence is this
THE PAEDOPHILES SHOULD BE PUNISHED FOR MOLESTATION,HARRASSEMENT AND SEXUAL ABUSE OF CHILDREN
because such children are made to suffer what they dont know about
causing the children to be physically, emotionally,spiritually and mentally depressed,traumatized and stressed 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️